Today I went to a place that has the best roasted nuts in Palestine. The original one is in Nablus and up until today I hadn't been to the branch in Ramallah, but I really wanted pecans. Upon entering I started to explain what I wanted in broken Arabic. A man behind the counter who spoke very good English started talking to me. His name is Raed. We ended up talking for 2 hours. He is 40 years old and from Nablus. He is married with a 2 year old daughter. He told me about how he was in Israeli prison for 11 years and was just released 3 years ago. He casually mentioned it as if it was a normal thing. He said to me, "because you live here you know that going to prison is a way of life for Palestinians. However most people coming from the outside world automatically think that I am a criminal when I say that I was once in prison."
He told me about what he called the "investigations." He said he went through 3. I asked them what they were. He told me "you don't want to know," but continued by comparing it to Guatanamo, but saying that it was worse. He told me that when he was 23 years old he was confiscated by the Israelis and essentially tortured (although he never used this word) so that he would confess his allegiance to Hamas. He never confessed. He said that he was made to sit on a small chair with his hands and feet bound for days at a time with no relief. He said he was beaten and kept awake with extremely loud music to overload his senses. He said that it was all designed to break him down psychologically not physically. He told me he reached a point when he wanted to kill himself.
When he was telling me this he just kept laughing. I said, "why do you laugh?" He told me, "what else can I do? This is our life. This is my story. I had it easier than most. There are a half a million Palestinians who have been imprisoned by Israel who can tell similar if not worse stories. Being a prisoner is like a badge of honor for us."
Raed used to be a Hamas supporter. He now supports no one, but rather says he is Palestinian, that is all. His best friend (who was also present, but who couldn't speak English) used to be a Fatah supporter. They met in prison and are now inseperable. Raed can not leave the West Bank. If he tries to go through the border to Jordan, he is turned away by the Israelis. He tells me he wants to go to the US to visit his brother who lives in Jamestown, NY; but he can not.
As I stood there listening to him, I saw how kind and soft Raed's eyes were. When he smiled, which he did a lot, his eyes crinkled ever so slightly at the edges giving a hint of the life that he has led. Raed is not afraid to go to prison again. He tells me that he will go on any television show to speak about what he has been through. He would like to go on Oprah, but knows it will never happen. He just keeps laughing, and says again, "this is our life."
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